Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
