Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
