you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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