i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
