I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
