you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
