i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
