I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Randomize
