sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
