So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
