you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
