dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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