i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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