listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
