No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
