i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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