I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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