You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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