I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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