I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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