I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
