I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
