FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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