so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
