I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
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