He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
