i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
