I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
