I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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