so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
