I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
This house was built for laser tag.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
