yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
