Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
