ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
