im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm too high and old for this...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
