At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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