it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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