I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
