he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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