I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
