so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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