I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
