absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
What a dumb baby whore.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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