Where did you get a picture of my penis
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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