How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
