Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
