She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it hurts more in the daytime
you traded sex for a burrito?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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