Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
