Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
