The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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