I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
