I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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