I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Say something about gay babies.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
