It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
