a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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