This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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