my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
