Moan for me like Helen Keller
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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