I just pynch a tree in the face
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
