I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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